Friday, 10 February 2012

I'm Hearing Voices: The Final Test



This has been the most fun blogfest I have been apart of and I want to thank Cassie and Angela for dreaming up such an amazing event. Alas, with all great things there must be an end, because even time doesn't last forever.

For our final "Hoorah" we have to make you truly feel the power of raw emotion in a Flash Fiction Piece.

February 10th - Friday
 - Emotion Flash Fiction: Emotion is the engine of a story. Pick an emotion and in a flash fiction piece of 250 words MAKE us feel it! We want to connect with your character. This will be a challenge in 250 words.

The emotion I want to illustrate is Purpose. I know a lot of people will write about love or hate -- greed and jealousy -- but I wanted to try something different, plus I have a very special character I want to introduce to you all. I'm not going to give backstory, instead, I'll let this special someone tell the tale.


The Last Story



Black cola bottles told no lies but they had many stories. One such storyteller sat in a box with its brothers and sisters, carried in the hands of a factory worker -- who threw it to another and paused as he looked at the packed compartment of the truck.

So on the dashboard our storyteller rode, absorbing the scene through a slit in the box. The view beyond the windshield was bright and sunny. Square, metal trees, both big and small, cluttered every inch of space. Mounted on these were signs of all shapes, sizes and colors -- flashing, almost inviting weary eyes to gawk at their splendor.

Quite astonishing, to say the least, but some of the metal trees didn't have signs. Oh no! In fact, a few of them looked as though they were sliced in two. Layer upon layer of shelves stood beside the torn half, while tiny men in yellow hats tocked away.

As if heaven sent, a torn newspaper clipping slapped itself on the winshield.
"United States Government to spend five billion renovating buildings damaged by tornadoes twelve years ago."

Black Cola Bottle tried to read more, but it heard the driver flip a switch and watched as two sticks wiped the paper off. The nerve of him! If it had lips it would complain, sadly the driver had beaten it to the punch: mumbling about the traffic of San Francisco and reaching the airport on time.

And so it was, many hours later, Black Cola Bottle woke up from its nap and saw it was being toted yet again. Humongous red or black boxes were everywhere -- carried around on the backs of trucks, or hoisted up by silver vines. Toots like trumpets, loud bellowing hollers and cranking iron offered little peace, but it didn't take long for our storyteller to understand why. High up on an arched sign were bright blue words: Staten Island Welcomes You To The Port of Richmond.

No wonder it was so noisy.

Now, fast forward two...twelve...ninety days later and Black Cola Bottle longed for any kind of noise. Sitting on a dusty shelf, waiting for some special person to drink it, was the worst experience there was. It had seen so many things -- hold ups, make outs, stakeouts and breakouts -- but its expiration was near an end. Until one day, a little boy and his mother bought it and took it away. As the child drank from its loins, Black Cola Bottle marveled at the island for the first time. It, too, had many steel trees, but unlike the other place only one or two were under repair. Before it had the pleasure of intaking another sight, the little boy stopped drinking and stood quite still.

"Mommy, what's that girl doing?"

Black Cola Bottle wondered the same: why was that scrawny girl drinking water from the drain?

"She's thirsty, dear," the mom said, "why not give her the rest of your drink?"

And so, the little boy skipped to the girl and held out Black Cola Bottle. Her tired eyes looked up from the drain, green water dripping from her lips, and took the drink.

"Thanks," she said.

"Come on sweetie, let's go." And they left without looking back.

Black Cola Bottle became aware it had found that special someone, and now it was time...
It told no lies and held many stories -- saw many things. And as the dirty girl drank the final drop from its body and threw it into the garbage, Black Cola Bottle lay there with a peace it willingly accepted: the last place...the last person...the last story it ever saw.    



I hope you liked it. The story swooped into my head this morning and I immediately fell in love with this little bottle.

Thank you to all those who stopped by to comment and say hi. I made a lot of friends and, for that, I am truly grateful.

Have a wonderful day!

16 comments:

Miranda Hardy said...

What a unique story. It served its purpose well.

Kyra Lennon said...

That was wonderfully bizarre, and this is definitely going to the top of my list of favourites! I've seen many great pieces of emotion flash fiction today, but I know for sure that this one will stay in my mind!

T.D. McFrost said...

Thanks guys.

I know I didn't stick to the word limit, but I tried every-which-way and it just didn't feel right. In the end I decided to leave it as is and, instead of limiting the thing, let the story unfold.

I really do like this bottle. It's kinda sad, but it lived a good life and served its purpose.

Hildred said...

loved it! Although I did have an immature chuckle at the drinking from the loins part ;)

Justine Dell said...

Oh, strange. But good. Poor little bottle. He'd seen the world and ended up in the trash.

~JD

Danielle B. said...

Over the course of this blogfest, I've have come to realize that you might be one of my top 5 favorite writers. I love this sort of twisted, bizarre writings.

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

A very unique story you've got here. I loved the personification of the black cola bottle. Excellent piece my talented friend.

Cassie Mae said...

Wow, where do you come up with this stuff? You are uber talented I must say. :)

Oh and just so you know, it's me and Angie hosting. You're in my top picks for one of the days so I didn't want you to miss my post for it :)

Emily R. King said...

Excellent personification! I totally dig it.

Angela Cothran said...

Love the personification :) Well written and interesting! I did feel that little bottle's purpose. Great job Tyson!

Deana said...

What a cool perspective! Another great and intriguing story TD! And I'd say you conveyed purpose quite well:)

Ashley Nixon said...

I love the idea! It's definitely an awesome way of demonstrating purpose!

James said...

Hi, I'm also in the platform building campaign. Nice to meet. That flash fiction was quite unique.
http://jameslackey.blogspot.com/

Cortney Pearson said...

Loved this unique perspective. I've never considered what things might be like from the persepective of a cola bottle!! I enjoyed this! :)

Sara said...

That was a really different perspective. Well done.

Hywela Lyn said...

Really unique and different from anyting else I've read in this Blog Fest. Well done!

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