Wednesday, 8 February 2012

I'm Hearing Voices And Dialogue





It's day two of the "I'm Hearing Voices Blogfest" and this time we have to introduce two characters using nothing but dialogue.

February 8th - Wednesday - Dialogue Introduction: Have two characters introduce each other using only dialogue—no backstory, no internalization, just dialogue between the two. Max 250 words.
This is a perfect exercise to flex our "Show Don't Tell" muscles and I have a lot to show off. (Winky Face ;)

Again, I'm opting to use characters from my WIP, Portrayer, because they're a tad more interesting than those in my MG. I was torn between which characters to choose, but I think I selected the right pair. Either way, I hope you enjoy this exchange.

Sarah


















Amanda

Aqua Fierce

  
"Girl, I'm 'bout to tear this place up--these heifers better know I don't play those games!"

"Aqua, cool it, let me handle this. It's my face not yours."

"A'ight, Sarah, but if I see that hoe step outta line I'ma get ta slicin'!"

"Thanks, just don't do anything crazy, okay?"

"Fine, but I'll say this though: you have a lot of patience. If I'd gotten slapped in the face like you did--OH.MY.GOD--I woulda make it rain up in here!"

"Put that away! Are you insane? If a teacher catches us we'll get expelled!"

"Chillax, girl, it's a toy gun--see." 

"I don't get you sometimes, you live in the suburbs and your father's a diplomat."

"So?"

"So--why do you act like this?"

"Act? This ain't no act, sweetie, this is all fierceness right here."

"But you're half Asian."

"And you're half hatin', let's leave it at that."

"All right, no need to get--"

"Well, well, well if it isn't Whoreetta and Skankator."

"Keep her out of this, Amanda, this is between you and me!"

"Haven't you had enough punishment for one day, or should I introduce your left cheek to my hand, too?"

"First of all, you jumped me when I was parting a fight, and, secondly, it was you and your cheertrolls versus me."

"Cry more, loser!"

"How 'bout I make you cry, Amanda!"

"Um, excuse me, 'dawg', speak when you're spoken too, okay? Thanks."

"Oh. No. You. Dinant!"

"Oh yes I did!"

"Lemme tell you somethn' you little--don't touch my nail--don't you dare touch--!"

*Clip*

"BITCH DONE BROKE MY NAIL!" 


I hope this was as much fun for you to read as it was for me to write. Aren't showdowns between the good girl and the bad girl fun to watch?

I can't wait to see what you guys came up with. I'm so excited I'm practically itching! Oh wait, that's ants. 0_0   


29 comments:

Miranda Hardy said...

I'm laughing. That was great. Really enjoyed it.

Danielle B. said...

Awesome! I love how you protrayed them! The bitchiness made me laugh. I want to listen to them some more!

T.D. McFrost said...

I like when Aqua says: "Bitch Broke My Nail!" That made me laugh. I still laugh when I read it 'cause I can imagine her face with complete shock and then just pouncing on Amanda like a Puma!

I could've made this exercise sentimental, but I thought everyone else would've done that so I opted for a cheap laugh.

I'm glad you liked it.

Justine Dell said...

OMG. You have truly captured the voices of very bitchy girls. NICE JOB.

~JD

T.D. McFrost said...

@Justine: I know right? Shocked myself too. I blame the girls down the street, who, coincidentally, are named Aqua Fierce and Amanda. I watch them bicker all the time so I guess it comes naturally. :D

Deana said...

Half Asian and half hatin'...omg, I had better see that in a hard bound book in the future! TD you're killin' me here. I could see this in my head sooooo well. Loved it!

Hywela Lyn said...

Very funny - great characters you have here!

Kyra Lennon said...

This is genuinely a work of brilliance! That kind of talk makes me giggle - mostly because I'm English and people don't talk like that here lol!

I love the "Bitch broke my nail" line - and I am a little scared of these girls, but you did a great job with this challenge!

Cassie Mae said...

Laughing at that last line still! I can totally picture Aqua looking at her hand then going all crazy on her!

yikici said...

Action, words and laughter all in one! There's great voices in there; loved it! My fave sentence has to be "Half Asian and half hatin' " :)

I thought I'd say a quick hellooo too as a fellow campaigner.

Morgan said...

OH. No. You. Dinant! <-----LOL!

What's so great about this, is that I could hear the voices so clearly in my head... that's when you know you're doing it right. Waaaaay fun to read, nice work :D

Gina C said...

great dialogue - it really jumps off the page :)

looking forward to reading more about your work during the blog campaign!

-GC

Southpaw said...

The ending is perfect.

I'm found you through the Writers' Platform-Building Campaign.

Jay Noel said...

I totally lost it at "Whoreetta" and "Skankator."

That was some entertaining stuff!

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

Each character has a clear personality. You definitely handled this challenge superior to me but I miss the dialogue tags. I had to reread several parts to try and figure out who is speaking. I don't like talking heads lol. I know that's the exercise so I don't blame you at all. So just by dialogue, I'm blown away. This sounds exactly like a real conversation. Your writing is very impressive.

T.D. McFrost said...

Thanks so much guys!

And hello to the new folks, I'm off to follow and stalk you. ^_^

Emily R. King said...

LOL! I am dying right now. These women are FIERCE!

Sara said...

half asian--half hatin Hilarious!

I really enjoyed reading this. Now I need to go figure out what this blogger campaign people speak of.

Jess said...

Haha oh my gosh, I loved it!! That was hilarious! You totally brought those characters to life, I could really get a good picture of what was going on. Great job!

Angela Cothran said...

They are fierce! I love the call out on her "gangsta" credentials :) Totally made me laugh! Great job!!!

Ashley Nixon said...

LOL. This was so funny. And I'm reading in class, so you're not supposed to make me laugh! Great job!

Lisa said...

I can totally hear their voices! (The voices, the voices... eek!)

McKenzie McCann said...

"BITCH DONE BROKE MY NAIL!"

Bahaha. The entire thing was funny, but that last line really got me.

Melodie Wright said...

Great job - I wanted to jump in there and bang their heads together until they settled down and got over themselves.
Skankator made me laugh.

kmckendry said...

Great characters here! Love the ending!

Kelley said...

This was so funny!!! I'm still laughing. Very well done!

*New Follower* So nice to *meet* you :)

T.D. McFrost said...

So nice to meet all the new blog buddies!

I am so glad you guys liked this. You made my day! :D

Cat said...

Funny. I wish I could write funny.
I'm a fellow Campaigner from the MG/YA group.

Rek said...

Enjoyed the exchange and Half asian and half hating made me laugh in a good way of course...visiting through Rach's Campaign

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