Haven't we all been there? I know the feeling quite well because just yesterday night I got turned down by a girl at a club. I think her exact words were: "I don't date little boys, sorry." Ouch. And here it is I thought this kid had game. LOL. Anyway, it's inevitable we'll be turned down at various points in our life. We may get rejected when applying for a job, making a marriage proposal or asking our boss for a pay raise. It's not a nice experience to have, but thankfully it's possible to learn how to handle rejection without letting it eat us alive.
Here are 7 ways to bounce back and still look "fly":
1. Don’t take it personally. There are times in our lives when we are rejected simply because of timing. If you ask someone out to lunch but they have already eaten lunch, well they are going to turn you down! If you apply for a part-time job at a department store during the Christmas holidays the week of Christmas, they are going to turn you down because they have enough staff. Some rejections have nothing to do with us. So if you got turned down, do not second guess that you are no good or that no one likes you. It may just be a question of timing!
2. Think positively. It can be hard to think positively when you have been rejected, but try to turn the tables on this. If someone declines your offer for a social event, think about all the times when you have said no to others as well. Also, sometimes, getting rejected is a blessing in disguise. It may provide you with the space for something bigger that is about to happen!
3. Listen to the rejection carefully. It is important to pay attention to the reason for the rejection. This will tell you if you have a second chance or not. If you apply for a job and the Human Resources Director says “Not now, but call me in three months,” you can choose to focus on the part about timing. Try asking a follow up question to understand why you are being rejected now and get creative in coming up with an alternative solution.
4. Be kind to yourself. Being rejected is a disappointment to say the least. It can be very frustrating to put yourself out there for either personal or professional reasons and then, be told “no.” So, be kind to yourself after getting rejected in some way. Engage in positive self talk and encourage yourself for the future. Do not be silly by drowning your sorrows in food, alcohol, cigarettes or overspending.
5. Have confidence in who you are. Learn to have confidence that people will like you just as you are and to make yourself the best “you” that you can be. Engage in hobbies and activities that you. Laugh and sparkle! People will respond in amazing ways and you will get to experience less rejection!
6. Know that everyone gets rejected. There are six billion people on this earth. We are all beautiful, unique and different. There are times we are in demand and times we may get rejected. Knowing that rejection is an emotion that many people go through is a reality check! So get over your victim mentality and move on!
7. Try and try again. A popular sales motto is that it takes twenty “nos” to get to one “yes.” Many successful authors like Robert Kiyosaki and Mark Victor Hansen got their manuscripts rejected several times by publishing houses before they hit big time! Learn from these authors. Do not therefore take rejection as a sign of failure. Instead, press on in your dreams!
A lot of rejection is not the actual rejection, but how you handle it. If you engage in positive self-talk and have a confident attitude, it is possible to attract a better outcome. Hence, keep picking yourself up when you fall. Do not feel daunted but rejoice because you have found one less way to being turned down. So, even if a new party says “no” to you, you will always be able to transform your negative state of mind to a more empowering one!