Tuesday, 1 March 2011

Why Does Love Break Our Heart?

Nothing writing related today. I'm gonna keep it real 'cause I have a problem some of you might be familiar with.

So I have this girl, right, and she's a $exy Spanish mamasita with golden brown skin, long black hair that nestles at the swell of her back, bright blue eyes and a smile that just melts your heart. She's been my one and only for six years (SIX YEARS!) and has seen me through the murder of my dad, my mountain bike accident and the club fight that left me with a broken hand.

This is the girl I was gonna marry - the one who was gonna give me little McFrosts all over our dream house. I was gonna propose to her next year on Valentines Day but now I'm uncertain.

For years I've been hearing rumors that she has been cheating on me with not one, or even three, but five guys! That's like one for every occasion! I, of course, denied it and she did too. For one thing, my girl would never do that to me because she knows she has me on lock down. I can't so much as talk to another girl for more than three minutes (no kidding); if I do as such, she would either yell at me for hours on end, accusing me of sleeping with her, or put me to sleep on the couch of our apartment. So the notion that my future wife was cheating, seeing as I was banned from female interaction, was pish posh!

Until now...

I work as a journalist for a local paper and my wifey is some big time law major at university. So during my lunch break I get a call from my best friend Whitney citing the unthinkable:

"Sarah is at a bar with him!"

I didn't want to believe it, but low and behold Whitney pulls up right there at the deli with the phone to her ear.

"Yeah she is, and I'm gonna show you!"

So I, my heart twanging with doubt and expectation, hop in and arrive at the bar fifteen minutes later. There, at the very front, beneath a shed, with a martini in hand, and him on her lips, was my Sarah!

Perhaps I should've cried, raged like a nerd or something diplomatic, but at that very moment I didn't care to take the high road. I jumped out, ran to them, yanked her away and proceeded to beat the guy with over six years worth of lies. I know I was wrong to take it out on him, but sometimes men can seduce girls, right? Or is it the other way around?

Well, later that night when we got home, we had a big argument about it. I finally broke down there and then - something to the effect of :"SIX YEARS SARAH! AND YOU DO ME LIKE THIS?!" She was begging me not to leave her, saying it was only just a thing and nothing more. But I dunno. If you could so easily cheat on me with this bloke, what about the five others you've supposedly slept with?

I dunno what to do. It hurts to look at her and every attempt she makes to touch me or speak to me is met with a swift turn the other way. I've loved her exclusively for six whole years, but she's been cheating on me with five different guys. Now I know why those dudes on the block laugh when we walk by. I feel like a fool.

If you've loved someone for years, but found out they've been cheating on you, what would you do?


Tabitha said...

I loved someone who cheated on me. I tried to forgive and work things out, but the cheating was so big it loomed over us both, oppressive and evil. In the end, I couldn't trust anything he said and felt the urge to check up on him all the time. Sometimes I did, and sometimes I didn't. But he resented the times I did, and began to hate me for it. I began to hate him for putting me in that position in the first place.

Things kept going downhill, and I couldn't take it anymore. I left, and have never regretted it.

I'm so sorry you're going through thus. It's one if the worst experiences...violating, humiliating, heartbreaking. Sending you good thoughts and healing vibes for your heart.

T.D. McFrost said...

Thanks Tabitha. :D Our trust is broken and I can't look at her the same way. What really hurts is the fact that I gave her six years of my love and never dared betray that. I've been with one woman and don't know what it's like to play the field. That is a sad thing.

And they say guys are dogs. HA! Girls can be just as dirty.

Tabitha said...

I know how you feel. It wasn't six years for me, it was four. Still a huge chunk of time, and i felt like such an idiot.

And yes, girls can be sneaky and devious. But you'll find the right one. One that's honest, loving, and loyal. You've got *lots* of time. :) Just be yourself, and someone will love you for it. :)

T.D. McFrost said...

Thanks for your kindness and support Tabitha. It means so much to me.

I still don't know if I'll leave or stay. Tomorrow I'm going to see my mom and my sisters (and my priest) and we'll discuss the matter. The pastor might say forgive, but my family will tell me to walk. That's how I feel, really - like I'm on a crossroad between hate and forgiveness.

I'll figure it out. I've been through a whole lot worse so things will be fine.

Thanks for the support Tab. You rock super hard! :D

Anonymous said...

She's cheating on you for a reason. It may be that she is not ready for a true commitment. It may be that she"s "not that into you." Or it may be that "once a cheater, always a cheater." You probably don't want to hear any of those reasons. You're not in a state of mind to make serious decisons. Try to back off, stay with family and think about what your future will look like if you stay with her. Take care of yourself. And, for your future writing, this will be the angst that will make your writing voice come alive.

CBame13 said...

I too have loved and lost, and I truly feel for you. Even just reading your post, I wanted to jump up and punch out that guy. I've been cheated on. I forgave her. It was never the same.
Obviously every situation is different and the decision comes down to can you put everything that happened behind you and move forward. Admitting the truth to yourself is often the hardest thing to do.


Love is a weakest string of your life. Its directly connected to your heart. It only depends on your strong belief and mutual understanding.if a knot comes to your string it will remain unchanged for all your life. someone dies physically, but 90% dies mentally which is the toughest thing ever in this life.i too took the sweet poison of love and dying slowly. But think before you suspect your lover untill you see your selves . Then take right decision.

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