Another marvelous week; another weekend of mischief. MUAHAHAHA!
I've been as busy as a bee working my day job and writing. I must say, I've been battling with my opening for quite some time now, but I think I've finally created a gem with voice, tone, character and plot.
Here it is:
Cindy Bindy Boo wanted to be a Superhero when she grew up; she vowed by the hair on her chinny chin chin that she would give her money to the poor, save all animals from abuse and make the world a place of smiles; but as sweet little Cindy skipped down Time Square on this cold and windy June, little did she know it would be her last.
Poor Cindy. What do you think?
The story has just begun and already she's going to be kicking the bucket. Or is she?
While you try to mentally save Cindy from a horrible death, allow me to share some of the seven things I can't live without.
1. Internet and Laptop.
2. Meat and Pasta.
3. Girls. But sometimes I wish I could throw them in a toilet. They can be so darn annoying.
4. Some sort of Video Game.
5. My family and friends.
6. Shelter. Duh!
7. My imagination. This is the premise behind my story, because without it our world and its people would be a vacant chasm of nothingness.
So, what are the seven things you can't live without?
12 comments:
Your opening is a cliffhanger, for sure. Seven? Hmmm.
Oxygen, water, carbs, protein...
wait, that's really boring.
Writing! I'll leave it at that for now.
:)
Haha...that was great! Thanks for visiting Writers Ally. I'm a follower now. Guess we'll be seeing each other around. :)
7 things...well, seeing how I have four kids, the hubs and the dog I just take up the 7th spot with writing (but with tons of chocolate).
I liked the opening. :)
Seven things I can't live without...hmm...
Caffeine. Clothes. Words. Strawberries. Family. Friends. And flowers.
I like your excerpt.
My seven things: water, chocolate, shelter, the internet, cats, diet coke, and books.
Solid intro. Part of it seemed a bit cliche to me, but as you are writing for a younger audience I think it will go over quite well.
Seven things I can't live without eh?
Internet, friends, the Red Sox, the gym, candy (or sugar of some sort), video games (obv), and writing.
Hello my super duper SUPERSTARS!
Lydia - It's always nice to make a new blog friend - what's up? Actually, I think you seven things speaks volumes about your character: a woman is health conscious and fit.
Sexy! :d
Salarsen - That name is gorgeous, so odd and flowy. Love it! I loved your blog - LOVE! It was so quaint and easy to read. I'll be over there often, so look out for me. :D
Jennifer Rush - God, I love saying your name. It's like a verb.(LOL)
Medeia - You and I share a slot of 7 things in common. Perhaps we should get together and discuss them over...I dunno...caffeine? :D
CBame - Hey buddy. Thanks for commenting. What is cliche about it? I'll do my best to fix it.
Continue to have a great weekend everyone. :D
The chinny chin chin thing just threw me off a little bit. this is in no way a diss on the piece as I truly think it's a great intro, but most people would recognize that and immediately associate it with the three little pigs (I did at least).
Still keep it going, I like the vibe and it definitely sets up the reader to not want to put the book down.
Also, how old is she meant to be?
That bit was the omniscient narrator's attempt to show the reader how she said it.
If it were first person she would say: "I vow by the hair on my chinny chin chin.." But as it is in third...well, you get the idea.
That sentence does a lot. Not only does it sum up this little girl's personality in a nutshell, but, hopefully, peaks the reader's sympathy for her - enough that they read on. Of course, a boy might not care for her, so the main hooks are the words Superhero and the last line. That should keep them reading long enough to see what happens. :D
I pictured her as a six year old, but she can be anywhere from that age to nine. It doesn't matter, she starts the story for about a page and then it shifts to the true main lead after "you know what". ;)
I'll need beta readers soon, and I'd very much like for you to be one of them. :D
no I totally feel like as a six to whatever year old she ends up seeming, that line is absolutely necessary and does definitely show who she is and how she sees the world.
As far as beta reading goes I am so down and I hope that once I get far enough in my own writing that you would be willing to read my work
Yes, it would be an honor to be one of your Beta readers. Just hit me up whenever and I'm in!
Aw, how can you kill a kid with the name Cindy Bindy Boo? Too bad I created a character named Linny Loo Kabloo who is currently standing in Times Square holding a sign that says "You're going to die, Cindy Bindy Boo. Go home!" ;)
So 7 things I can't live without? Probably sleep, an alarm clock to wake me up from said sleep, the Internet, my laptop, water, food, and air conditioning.
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