Thursday 8 March 2012

Second Campaigner Challenge - Part 2


Sorry for missing yesterday's post, things got a bit hectic but I'm here now. :)

This is the follow up to the logline. What path will Haysus take? Let's find out.




Haysus stole watches, clothes and food from the people in his village. At the tender age of nine he had seen the inside of a jail cell twenty times. One more strike and he would be banished for life.

"Why Haysus?" his mother said, crying on her knees  "Why must you be this way?"

"It's because of you!" he replied. "Because of you I'm poor--because of you I have to scrunt like a dog!"

On his way to steal from the mayor, Haysus heard a loud Crack behind him.

"I've been watching you Haysus," said the bony man with red eyes. "I am Lucif--ahem--Merchant Aknem, and I am here to make you a wealthy child. All you have to do is sign this contract and then build a house, marry a girl and, last but not least, kill a family. However, you only have one hour to do so--or else..."

Haysus' eyes widened with glee. "I agree!"

So off he went to complete the first task. He stole lumber from the lumberjack but realized he had no clue how to build a house. He paced up and down for a while, then a pair of events happened at that instant: he could see though his hands and he got a brilliant idea! Haysus ran to the river and built a one foot sand castle. Now the next challenge was a bit tough, considering thirty minutes had passed and he was completely transparent. All the girls he approached ran away in shock, so he couldn't ask them. Once again, Haysus got an idea. Instead of a living girl, he stole a doll and asked the local priest to marry him.

Two down, one to go. And the last was the easiest by far.

Haysus sneaked up behind his family while they were eating lunch and raised his dagger to kill his mother. He lingered there for a moment. He couldn't do it. He ran to the backyard and cried. No one could see him now. The family pigs all gathered near his sobs and at once he did the unthinkable.

Crack!

"Very clever of you to improvise, Haysus, but you failed the final test. Your soul, dear boy, is mine forever!"

Haysus knew his life had come to an end, but--

"You owe my family the riches I will never get."

"How so?" asked Merchant Aknem.

"I did kill an entire family. I killed the family pigs!"

Haysus couldn't steal his family's life that day, but he left them with riches he will never see.



I hope you enjoyed this one. I look forward to reading your thoughts and critiques.

Have a great day everyone! ^_^

2 comments:

Sarah Tokeley said...

Neat twist at the end :-)

Sabrina A. Fish said...

Great job! A house of sand...very clever. This definitely feels like something that belongs in a book of Aesop's Fables.

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