Tuesday, 21 June 2011

New Title. New Music. And A Site For Beautiful People?

From this day onward, I shall be known as Frost Lord. Now bow to me!

My first title was called Frost Bolt, but I discovered it was not unique--World of Warcraft had beaten me to it with a spell of the same name. I then decided on Frost Light, but was never quite pleased. So after a bit of thought, I opted to use this one. For now.

I also added a new ambiance. It is the music from Final Fantasy V. Usually mp3 on websites are considered a nuisance (mainly because they're too loud, or not to the person's taste), but I used a tool that balanced the volume before I uploaded it--plus the player runs the track at mid range, so it's very quiet. If it is disturbing while you read, tell me and I'll change it.

I was fortunate enough to see Green Lantern this weekend, and, after much anticipation, I must sadly inform you that it sucked. I could get into great detail, but why rob the critics of their fire? Instead, I'll touch on five things that make a movie work, and rate it out of five.

Story   **

It was poorly done. The characters were made of starch; many of them added nothing to the plot, especially the tiny man; and the denouement left much to be desired.

Music   **

I know the composer tried his very best to capture the feel of this movie, but it seemed he got bored and asked his deaf assistant to do the deed.

Artistic Direction/CGI   ***

Three stars, even though it was the highlight of this movie, many of it seemed like rejected compositions of Star Wars.

Cast   **

Blake Lively was only there to look pretty, and I, for one, don't like her acting--her tone and body language indicate she smokes some HARD WEED before she steps on set. Ryan Reynolds was the only saving grace; his wit and humor was a decent touch. I wanted this to be the stepping stone for his Superhero Career. He deserves it, more so than Robert Downy Junior (who is full of himself!).

Direction   **

A director is only as good as the script. This is what he feeds off of--what gets his juices flowing. There is only so much he can do with a poor script and a bad cast, so it was not entirely his fault.

If you look to the upper left corner of this blog you will see a tab where the top 10 box office hits are listed. Currently, Green Lantern is listed at 53 million for its opening weekend--an impressive amount, but it is, in fact, the lowest opening for a Superhero Film thus far.

Finally, we arrive at the most narcissistic thing I have yet to encounter online. It is a stupid dating site called beautifulpeople.com. I won't even put a link, because I do not condone such a thing.

Let me share my experience with this site after I discovered it a week ago. Upon entering the page you are met with a backdrop of "beautiful people" in an array of seductive poses. Their props are a lion and a snake, of which appear far prettier than the actual models, but I digress... Below this image is a "as seen on so and so" banner and underneath this is even more nonsense that stresses on the theme "beauty equals privilege", such as exclusive parties and trips. For the sake of being curious (and I also wanted to see if the members were, in fact, made of diamonds) I joined and uploaded the photo I use here. I was then allowed into the site, where I was granted a trial period of forty eight hours, at which time members voted to determine if I was "hot" enough to stay. Seriously? -_-

I took this opportunity to scope out some of the females, and of the twenty or so girls I did look at, because I was so fed up with their dumbass descriptions, only four could possibly be considered stable adults.
The next day I got an email  from beautifulpeople.com. This is what it contained:

The voting process is over
“BeautifulPeople” <notifications@beautifulpeoplemail.com>
Date:Mon, Jun 13, 2011 10:46 pm
To:“Tyler Read” <tylerread@yahoo.com>

Dear Tyler, (used a fake name)
Unfortunately, your application to BeautifulPeople Network was not successful. The members of BeautifulPeople did not find your profile attractive enough.
Please note, only one in five applicants are currently accepted into BeautifulPeople.com.
BeautifulPeople welcomes you to apply again, perhaps with a better photo or a more interesting profile text.
To modify the contents of your profile and resubmit it for rating, simply follow these quick steps:
Open “Edit Profile Page”: http://beautifulpeople.com/home/editprofile/
Change your profile picture and modify your profile text to make it more appealing to the voting members.
Go to the “Home Screen”. (You can follow this link: http://beautifulpeople.com/home)
On the Home Screen, hit the “Vote me again” button to resubmit your modified application to the rating section. 

HAHA! I'll be honest, it stung for five seconds, and the fact I had to endure such a process simply to join a fucking WEBSITE left me disappointed. However, the aforementioned email gave directions to redeem myself. I simply needed a better photo and exciting text. All right, so perhaps it was just a bad picture, or even a lackluster bio? Seems fair enough. To ensure I did it right the second time, I re-logged and looked at some of the guys. It was here I found a major flaw in my process, and for this very reason I submitted a new picture. Within twelve hours I got this message:

The voting process is over
“BeautifulPeople” <notifications@beautifulpeoplemail.com>
Date:Wed, Jun 15, 2011 7:32 pm
To:“Tyler Read” <tylerread@yahoo.com>

Dear Tyler,
The members of BeautifulPeople.com have cast their votes. BeautifulPeople Network is pleased to inform you that the majority of members on BeautifulPeople.com found your application very attractive and granted you membership. 
Welcome to the BeautifulPeople community!

ROFL! That is fucked up! The second time around I took my shirt off, stood in front the mirror and snapped a picture in my briefs! The majority of the guys have similar photos and it appears that's what the ladies vote for.

This site boasts millions of members and is proud to say that they've rejected over five million "ugly" people. They were recently attacked by a Shrek Virus, where the rating module was disabled and over thirty thousand "ugly" people were able to join.

I've blocked this webpage and all its sponsors. I joined to see if it really was worth all the trouble (maybe even win a free trip or some shit), but what I discovered was far worse: beautifulpeople.come exists to further segregate men and women and promote an elitist way of thinking. The members are as shallow as they are unstable--aided by the media and a society that exalts such individuals.


Rick said...

HAHAHAHA that's hilarious, in a smarmy, oh-lawd sort of way.

In any case, I think you're purdy.

Also, usually mp3s on websites are one of the deadliest sins around (Expages and Angelfire and Geocities were all smited by the gods for a reason, Ty) but it's either not playing on my computer or it's so low I can't hear it.

Tracey Neithercott said...

So THAT'S where the music was coming from! I have seven tabs open and after checking all (I didn't scroll down to find yours) I decided I was partially insane and the music was IN MY HEAD.

Green Lantern looked kind of lame, but I'm willing to sit through crap to watch Ryan Reynolds for a couple of hours. And it's not just because he's hot; I think he's great in silly or comedic roles.

I've heard of that site before. To me it just sounds like a lot of people whose only quality worth dating is their looks. I guess it suits them since only another narcissistic beautiful person would date someone who had nothing else to offer but a pretty face and, apparently, a serious need for some new clothes. I will agree that the free trips sound pretty nice.

Julie said...

Wow.... there are no words. I'll leave the beautiful people and their shallow profiles at that.

Also, I'm glad your review of the Green Lantern supports my opinion that the trailer looked completely cheesey. I'm happy to report that I will NOT be paying the $9 to sit through it at the theatre! Blockbuster que? Perhaps. But only if I'm REALLY bored!

P.s. I like your music. Not too loud and its mellow. Keep it!

Paul Joseph said...

And yet, inside all the ridiculousness of that website, you've managed to share a very entertaining story. Glad to see you didn't let them get you down; I have a feeling I'd still be crying... :-/

Michael Di Gesu said...

Some things never change....

Dealing with "beautiful" people type people for fifteen years in the modeling industry, I am not surprised to see people are still as superficial as ever!

Discovery this community back in October of 2011, I was happy to see "real/beautiful" people. Beauty is within my friend as you have discovered. Everyone should learn this lesson.

Yes, we are ALL attracted to the hot girl or guy, but if they don't have a soul, passion, sense of humor, and sincerity, then the beauty will become very boring especially to people like us. Writer's have all of the above and then some. SO we need to feed our passions with a similar person.

Have "fun" with the pretty people.... I sure did, but keep you soul in tact.

Michael Offutt said...

Oh that's so not cool. I think you look quite nice so those people are idiots.

Medeia Sharif said...

That sounds like a crazy website, but at least I got to read a funny story about it.

I'll wait for Green Lantern to come out on Netflix.

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