Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Characters We Love

I'm alive!

Yes! I found a way to cheat the eight marks of death; all you need is a crit partner, spell check and (BOOM!) those horrible omens are no more!

There are a lot of characters who resonate with us when we partake of visual and literary art, but there is always that one individual who we look at and go WOW.

For me, that individual is Albus Dumbledore.

He is the Headmaster of Hogwarts, of course, and the most powerful wizard, but he is also the weirdest character I've seen in a while. He floats around with grace and poise  - never shows anger in times of dire; always smiles and is always one step ahead of you. But even though his mere presence is like standing before a wise, old king, Albus Dumbledore is also very quirky.

His fascination of sweets and gadgets is not the denominator; that honor goes to his"crazy" way of holding a conversation and being distracted by various things, like a child would.

That simply heightens my admiration for a powerful man who isn't the cookie-cutter mold of perfection beyond reproach - even Cornelisu Fudge, the Minister of Magic, was quirky and he had to be perfect!

Another character I adore is the Omega-Level Mutant Dark Phoenix; not Phoenix, mind you, but her sinister alter ego (think Black Swan...).

Considered one of the most powerful mutants alive, this bodacious firebird is all power. But unlike some women who's alter egos ravage with kitchen utensils, her rage can destroy an entire planet.

Now that's what you call a BOMBSHELL!

Who's your favorite character from literature and film?

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

A Punctual Death

Today I will attempt to reveal the deadliest WIP-Killers this world has ever known. Why, the very idea of describing them puts my life at risk. This may as well be my last post, so for that reason I want to thank you all for the love. Please, read this with haste and when you're finished unplug your computer and burn it!

Failure to obey will result in your swift and painful demise.



The first of the deadly Marks of Death. The comma rules over Fire. 

It is used very frequently and used incorrectly almost as frequently. There are, in fact, four distinct uses of the comma:
  • A listing comma is used as a kind of substitute for the word 'and' or sometimes for the word 'or' in a list when three or more words, phrases or even complete sentences are joined by the word 'and' or 'or'. [The colours in the Union Jack flag are red, white and blue.]
  • A joining comma is only slightly different from a listing comma and is used to join two complete sentences into a single sentence, when it must be used by one of the connecting words 'and', 'or', 'nor', 'but', 'while', 'so' and 'yet'. [I could tell you the truth, but I will not.]
  • The gapping comma is used to show that one or more words have been left out when the missing words would simply repeat the words already used in the same sentence. [Some English writers use punctuation correctly; others, not.]
  • The bracketing comma always comes as a pair and is used to mark off a weak interruption of a sentence - that is, an interruption which does not disturb the smooth flow of the sentence and could be removed and still leave the sentence complete and making good sense. [This web site, I would suggest, contains much useful information and advice.]
Note 1: One bracketing comma will suffice if the weak interruption comes at the beginning or the end of the sentence. [Although often wet, Britain has lots of sunshine. as opposed to Britain, although often wet, has lots of sunshine.]

Note 2: The main purpose of punctuation is to aid understanding; a subsidiary purpose is to aid flow. Use joining commas and pairing commas where this aids understanding and/or flow. As a general rule, the longer the sentence or the more complex the sentence, the greater the need for commas.

Note 3: When in doubt over where to use a comma, try reading the sentence out loud and, generally speaking, commas should be used where you pause for clarification or breath.

Note 4: There is some controversy over use of something called the serial or Oxford comma which is the last comma in this example: The colours in the Union Jack flag are red, white, and blue. Generally the serial comma is not used in Britain where it is regarded as unnecessary, but it is commonly used in the United States where it is thought helpful. My preference is to use a listing comma before 'and' or 'or' only when it is necessary to make the meaning clear.


The Colon is the second of the deadly marks, and rules over Ice.

The colon has two uses:
  • to indicate that what follows it is an explanation or elaboration of what precedes it (the rule being that the more general statement is followed by a more specific one) [There is one challenge above all others: the alleviation of poverty.]
  • to introduce a list [There are four nations in the United Kindom: England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.]
Note: A colon is never preceded by a white space, but it is always followed by a white space, and it is never followed by a hyphen or a dash.


If the comma is the most powerful, then this is the most deadliest mark of them all. Countless writers have lost their WIPS to this foe; silent and vicious, this beast rules over Darkness. 

The semicolon has two major uses:
  • to join two complete sentences into a single written sentence when the two sentences are too closely related to be separately by a full stop and there is no connecting word which would require a comma such as 'and' or 'but' [It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.]
  • to join two complete sentences into a single written sentence where the second sentence begins with a conjunctive adverb such as 'however', 'nevertheless', 'accordingly', 'consequently', or 'instead' [I wanted to make my speech short; however, there was so much to cover.]
Note: In these uses, the semicolon is stronger than a comma but less final than a full stop.
There is a minor use of the semicolon:
  • to separate items in a list when one or more of those items contains a comma [The speakers included: Tony Blair, the Prime Minister; Gordon Brown, the Chancellor of the Exchequer; and Ruth Kelly, Secretary of State for Education & Skills.]


The deadly Mark of Water; always underestimated, yet few have lived to speak of its horrors. 

It is the most misused punctuation mark in the English language by far, but this should not be the case since there are only two major uses of the apostrophe:
  • to indicate a contraction which is a form of word in which one or more letters are omitted [it's instead of it is or aren't instead of are not]
  • to indicate possession [Roger's web site]
Note 1: The first use of the apostrophe should usually be avoided in formal writing.

Note 2: The second use of the apostrophe involves placing the apostrophe at the end of the word when the word is plural and ends in 's' [workers' rights].

Note 3: There are three very, very common misuses of the apostrophe.
  • The most frequent misuse is in writing plural forms, especially in signs and notices, but it is totally wrong to write pizza's or CD's or even in English English1990's (this is the usage in American English).
  • The second misuse, which is almost as common, is it's instead of its to indicate possession [It's wrong to hit its head].
  • The final misuse involves confusion between 'who's' which is an abbreviation of 'who is' [the man who's coming to visit] and 'whose' which shows possession [the man whose house is over there].


The fifth Mark of Death. Hyphen rules the Earth. 

It has two main uses:
  • in writing compound words that would be ambiguous, hard to read or excessively long [no-smoking sign and black-cab driver]
  • to indicate that a long word has been broken off at the end of a line (however, this should be avoided if possible)
A minor use of the hyphen is:
  • to avoid what is called letter collision {de-ice or shell-like]


Dash rules the Wind and has only one major use:
  • to use in pairs to separate a strong interruption from the rest of the sentence (a strong interruption, as opposed to a weak interruption, is one which forcefully disrupts the flow of the sentence and, as such, it usually contains a verb rather simply being a phrase) [All nations desire econmic growth - some even achieve it - but it is easier said than done.]
Note: Only one dash is used if the strong interruption comes at the beginning or the end of the sentence. [We earnestly desire peace for all nations of the world - and we will work hard for it.]
There are several minor uses of the dash:
  • to add emphasis or drama [He said that he would go - and he did.]
  • to indicate a range of numbers [900-1000]
  • to link two connected words [the Sydney-Melbourne train]


The seventh Mark of Death rules the element of Ore. 

Brackets have one major use:
  • to use in pairs to set off a strong or weak interruption, as with a pair of dashes or a pair of bracketed commas [I knew she loved me (I was not wrong) which is why I proposed.]
Note: Round brackets are normally used instead of dashes or bracketed commas where the interruption is something of an aside from, or a supplement to, the main sentence.
There is a minor use of brackets:
  • to enclose an acronym after the acronym has been spelt out [European Union (EU)]


Ah yes, the proud and prudent Ellipsis. While his brothers kill with vim and vigor, he ravages WIPS with sheer cunning and brain. Master of Light, he is sometimes called the suspension or omission marks, and has three uses:
  • to show that some material has been omitted from a direct quotation [One of Churchill's most famous speeches declaimed: "We shall fight them on the beaches ... We shall never surrender".]
  • to indicate suspense [The winner is ...]
  • to show that a sentence has been left unfinished because it has simply trailed off [Watch this space ...]
Note: Technically there should be three dots in an ellipsis, but there could be two at the beginning of a piece and four at the end.  

Saturday, 26 March 2011

Light It Up

My very first post on a Saturday.

I feel oddly Dark Phoenix. Perhaps it's the warm Saturday air, or the fact that I don't have work and can get into all sorts of funky mischief, either way, today I'm gonna set the clubs on fire!

This is the new opening I devised per your critiques. I expanded on the cafe and polished it as best I could. In this scene, Valeous is hell-bent on enjoying an ordinary evening when weird things start happening. It's quite funny. It's more than a 250 word excerpt (750 to be exact), so I'll mark the spot with (*).

Nothing more I can say. Thank you ever so much for the comments, and I sincerely hope I did justice with your critiques.

Wish me luck.
Valeous Rex strolled down Westminster Avenue on the most ordinary night he had ever seen. The sky was black and as it should be: a silver moon and many stars; busy folks bustled along on their merry way; the cool June air swishing their cloaks.

Nothing could possibly go wrong.

Valeous turned into a crowded street and pushed a tinted glass door. A jumble of honks and pitter-patter rushed into the sound-proofed room. He released the door and walked on, as it closed a coin-sized fire ball whizzed past.

He surveyed the white linen tables scattered about and found one in the corner near the wall. Before he could loosen the last button on his black tux, a leggy waiter stepped beside him, took out a pad and asked what he would like to have...

"The usual," he replied.

“Very Well.” And the man left.

Valeous pulled the wooden chair and sat. He picked up a copy of the Daily Express near a tray of napkins, unfolded it and skimmed the headlines: London's Ailing Economy...Prince Harry Is A Bum…Almighty Hero Slays Boogeyman...

He blinked and read it again.

Almighty Hero Slays Boogeyman

Mr. Arthur Read is a psychologist and father of four. Despite his noble profession, he claims a Superhero saved him from the Boggeyman. What's more, Mr. Arthur says the Superhero is a boy.*
"He was a sixteen-year-old chap and about six feet with an athletic build. He had short brown hair that curved at the front, blue eyes and wore a black tux from the Armani collection."
Dapper in an Armani suit himself, Mr. Read describes the boy as almighty. In his own words: “The Boogeyman twisted into a massive red lizard, but the boy didn’t so much as flinch! He grabbed it by the toe, spun it around and flung that bugger into the sky! Then he created a shadow ball between his hands, shot it at the monster and -- BAM -- the lizard, I mean the Boogeyman, was blown to bits!”
When asked the identity of this Superhero, Mr. Read replied, "He said I could call him ‘V’."

A jostling of feet broke Valeous’s train of thought.

"Here you are, sir," said the waiter. He placed a steaming cup of Lipton and a silver tray of caramel biscuits on the table. "Anything else -- our delicious muffins, perhaps?"

"Oh god no -- I mean -- no thank you," Valeous said, forcing a smile.

The waiter pursed his lips. "Enjoy."

Valeous nodded and watched him leave.

He took a sip of the bitter-sweet tea while holding the paper in his left hand. Out of nowhere, a loud jumble of honks blared from behind. He turned to the door three tables away -- to the duo of middle-aged women sweeping into the cafe. A faint red glow squeezed through the crease as scraps of paper flew by. The door was left to close of its accord; the light shrank smaller and smaller...then vanished along with the noise.

"I’ve never seen a night sky so red, and that wind was awfully hot," he heard one of them say, walking past.

Red sky?... Hot wind?... Probably a thunderstorm, Valeous supposed, shrugging.

As the ladies settled into their seats, a sudden tremble caused the chandelier to flick the ambiance from gold to black; metal cutlery clinked a wavering tune; tables jumped slightly; and those standing stood very still. After a second or two, a blast of amber painted the room and Valeous, suspecting it was the weather, continued to read.

…It is understood that Superheroes only exist in comic books, but Mr. Arthur Read is convinced he saw one…

Ever so often a yelp of laughter startled his inner voice. Valeous looked over his paper (crazy old bats!) and took a sip of tea before ducking behind it. He vowed not to be disturbed again, and he indeed kept his promise. Soon, giggles turned into shrieks -- glass broke with a crash – chairs jostled and skid  – yet Valeous read on…

...Mr. Arthur Read insists he is not insane, after all he is a psychologist...

It wasn't until a man bumped his table en route to the door that he finally set the paper down.

Silence clung to every empty corner and chair; bits of glass littered the floor.

Valeous absorbed the scene for a moment, turning all sorts of reasons in his head, then came face to face with the culprits sitting in a chair.

"Those stupid muffins! Of course people will storm out -- they cost five hundred pounds and taste like ass!"

He was certain of their guilt -- no matter how silly it sounded.

"Tonight is completely normal and nothing could go wrong!"

Turning up his nose, he picked up the newspaper, ruffled it, and took a sip of tea; a salty, almost metallic taste sloshed on his tongue. He spat it across the white linen table and looked into the cup. It wasn't filled with a pool of brown Lipton...

It was blood.

Friday, 25 March 2011

Friday Wonder Ponder #3

Thank You All For The Support!

Another awesome week; a new and exciting adventure!

I'm still tinkering with my opening, so I'll post it tomorrow instead.

Today I want to have a generally short and intimate post. I am still new to blogger and have already amassed twenty four awesome followers! Thanks so much! However, I want to find even more blogs to keep up with. I spend at least an hour a day reading blogs, and snatches of it throughout the day.

But I want more!

So, for my third ever Friday Wonder Ponder, my question to you is simple: what other fun and exciting blogs do you recommend? 

Thursday, 24 March 2011

Fantasy Ed 101: Inventing A New Race

I thank all of you who commented on my opening. I already wrote a brand new one that expands on the scene in the cafe. I intend on posting it on Friday, so stay tuned for that.

Today, the twenty finalists of Brenda Drake's Show Me The Voice contest was posted. I, of course, was not one of them, and this was probably because, despite my haste, I did not email the entry. When I saw that I had until 12pm yesterday, the 23rd, I told myself I'll do some quick revisions and send it off. Low and behold, I check her website and its closed. That...sucked. I assumed signing the widget-thing with all the names was a possible entry, but I guess not...

Anyway, I want to sing my praises unto the master himself, Roland Yeomans, for his spot in the top twenty. Super-Mega-Ultra CONGRATULATIONS to the one and only Holy Orpheon!

I am fed-up of Orcs, Elves, Goblins, Witches, Wizards, Vampires, Werewolves, Trolls and Zombies.

I want something new.

We, the readers, want something new.

I invented nineteen races, including the Alterheroes, Portrayers, Flarions and Wisperits. I know nineteen is a bit much, but it was the most fun I've ever had writing.

Not everyone can do as such, however, there are too many resources for you not to at least try. It doesn't have to be fantastic, like Orcs, Vampires, Imperi or Thestrals, but quirky and bizzare like the Lionturtle, in Nickelodian's Avatar the Last Airbender; the Moose-Lion; the Rabaroo (Rabbit Kangaroo); or the Saber-Tooth Tiger Turtle. These were all superb; they enhanced their respective stories with a waft of fresh air.

We need that in these times, where the market is littered with derivative vomit.

Designing intelligent races is a great feat (took me 7 years to prefect all 19 of mine), but creating creatures to populate your world is as easy as mixing it up.

Here's how:

1) Think of a legendary creature (Dragon, Chimera...). 

2) Get an image of it.

3) Study it well and contemplate its features. What is its color? Its size? Its weight? Is it good or bad? 

4) Decide which part of it you can cut off and replace (head, chest, abdomen, tail...) with that of another creature or person. 

5) If you want to go a step further (like I'm about to do), merge it entirely with another being or thing. 

6) Get another image of the thing you wish to merge and put them side by side. Brainstorm possible outcomes. 


                 Blue Dragon + Female, Becomes:

Congratulations! You just created your very first race!

Writing fantasy is a discipline that requires the utmost care and imaginative prowess. It is perhaps the most rewarding genre of literature and the most fun. Give readers something to expand their imagination - to respect the art of fantasy, and not dub it as a genre of used and abused elements. There are some creatures and things that will never get old, such as dragons and magic, but take the time to invent your own, and make your everlasting mark on fantasy literature.

Class dismissed. (LOL)

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

The Most Extraordinary Boy On Earth

The closest representation of Valeous Rex
Hi guys. Hope you're having a wonderful day!

Yesterday there were two very exciting events in blogging, one of which was the Agent Pitch Contest on YA Topia. At the moment, there are still a few slots left, so enter for your chance to win a critique from agent Ammi-Joan Paquette.

Another super-duper contest was Show Me The Voice hosted by Brenda Drake. The blogfest, where you post the first 250 words of your MS on your blog, is over, but all through today and tomorrow, until 12pm EST, you can send your entry to with 'Contest' in the subject line to enter.

Usually, I am not too keen on showing my work to anyone, for the very reasons you think, but all these other great writers were brave enough to put their stuff out there, and this inspired me to the same. This piece has been polished many times - it's decent but there's always room to improve. I love what it shows...I love that I opened with a bit of exposition (not too much, just a little) to set the mood for what proceeds it. You can't fault that a ten year old boy will read that first paragraph and be hooked, now can you? Yes, that was the plan. I also like that you learn so much about Valeous in so few words - you even get a taste of his comedic tone. But as much as I love it, I hate it all the same. I despise the second sentence in paragraph two (To be honest, flying was exhausting...); it's major telling, but for the life of me I can't come up with something that flows well. I'm still tweaking it to find a good fit. I also have a teensy problem with the fourth sentence in paragraph two. It seems overwritten to me and I'm also trying to fix that without breaking the flow. There is nothing worse than having a story with mismatched sentences that does not connect as you read.

I've prattled on like a hapless old woman, so I'll leave you to be the judge.

Thank you for taking the time to comment. It means so much.

Genre: MG Fantasy/Mystery/Adventure

Valeous Rex was the most extraordinary boy in the whole wide world, and quite proud of it, yes siree! One time, there was this sixty story lizard demolishing Tokyo. Every man, woman and child fled in terror, but not Valeous - oh no! He grabbed Godzilla by the toe, spun it around and flung that sucker into outer space. Not only that, he flew right after it and blew the beast to bits with a blast from his palm. Naturally, it was pretty safe to say there was nothing in the universe that could frighten him. In fact, he didn’t even know what fear was.

Until now…

Valeous had just chased the Boogeyman across the inky skies of Europe, but lost it somewhere in the sewers of Westminster. To be honest, flying was exhausting, so he decided to have a spot of tea at a local cafe. He delighted his senses in a hot cup of Lipton, some caramel biscuits and the plight of the English in the Daily Express. He failed to notice that people were jumping from their seats and running to the door, and it wasn’t until a man bumped his table that he realized he was the only one in the room. He immediately assumed it was the deed of that dreadful muffin (“Five hundred pounds and as tasteful as a sponge, I’d run too!”), but it wasn’t. Because when Valeous Rex brought tea to his lips he spat it out at once; instead of a cup of steaming, brown liquid…it was blood.

Monday, 21 March 2011

Pimp My Writing

Hello my most noble Alterheroes. Today's Frost Bolt will be a bit different, due entirely to my recent interest in the topic of writing in the 21st century.

I'm the kind of guy who likes - no - loves gadgets and all that jazz, and it has been over ten years since I last wrote something substantial longhand. At this point, I fear my handwriting has deteriorated - if that is indeed possible. Nonetheless, I covet Microsoft Word as it relates to my writing. In fact, if you had told me there were other ways to boost literary efficiency, I would laugh. That is, until I discovered some very unique tools.

The first is an all-in-one media tool called Celtx.

"Celtx is the world's first all-in-one media pre-production system. It replaces 'paper & binder' pre-production with a digital approach that's more complete, simpler to work with, and easier to share."
click to visit the homepage

And boy does it ever!

Not only can you produce films, videos, documentaries, audio-visual presentations, screenplays, comics, mix tapes and storyboards, but you can also write novels on this thing. And the best part is: no more tweaking the bars to conform to the industry standard 8 1/2 x 11"; it is built in; there is a feature that lets you write notes in a side bar box, so no more using post-its or other .txt files; you can also use the built-in index cards at the crotch, which makes plotting a breeze. This free programme is a do-it-all magician and there are too many features to describe here. It may not replace your use of MS Word, but I can assure you it will most definitely be an asset in your multimedia endeavors.

Computers have come a long way in terms of Text-to-Speech technology. Microsoft introduced this tricky bit of magic with Windows Me, and since then it has evolved from robotic, inaccurate and hazy to human-like and a tad less stilted. Mind you, the voices are not perfect, but they are good enough that you no longer have to furrow in order to hear.

Two companies leading the forefront are Natrualreader and iSpeech.

click to visit the homepage
"NaturalReader is a Text to Speech software with natural sounding voices. This easy to use software can convert any written text such as MS Word, Webpage, PDF files, and Emails into spoken words. NaturalReader can also convert any 
written text into audio files such as MP3 or WAV for your CD player or iPod."

Naturalreader has a free downloadable version that has some basic features excluding top-notch voices. To attain these, you have to be willing to pay for its personal version at a cost of $49.50. Sadly, these only include two voices, which is pretty much a rip-off.

click to visit the homepage

If, like me, you love free stuff, then iSpeech is the way to go. I highly suggest you check them out, because they offer so many services. In a nutshell, they include mobile speech apps, drive safely apps (Stop texting while driving with by iSpeech - Speaks TXT (SMS) and email and lets you dictate), speech recognition software, custom voices, the ability to podcast your blog and so much more. Best of all, you don't have to download a thing and all it takes to get started is your email address. The downside to its free use is the limit to how many minutes of text-to-speech you are allowed. For free, it's 60 seconds, but for as little as three dollars you can get up to twelve hours, which is pretty decent.

This is what I was able to do using the free version to narrate the opening of my draft.

There are so many methods we can employ to get the best out of our writing experience. We are no longer restricted to pen and paper or MS Word, but a myriad of software that can set our imagination alight, or turn our computer into our own personal reader. Now that is how a 21st century writer/pimp should roll!

  • Yes
  • No
  • I'm not sure
  • I prefer old fashioned pen and paper, thank you very much

Thursday, 17 March 2011

So Good, It's Scary!

I'm back y'all!

If I told you why I was absent from my blog you'd most likely wave your fist at the monitor and yell.

But, of course, I must divulge so (WAIT FOR IT...), without further ado, the reason I was absent from blogging is (WAIT FOR IT...) due to my first place finish at the 25th Annual Drag Queen Finals.


Well. . .no. But that was fun to write (and very, very creepy).

In actuality, I got in another ATV accident and fractured my right hand, and sprained my left wrist. Yeah, Yeah, I know: "Do you ever learn from your mistakes?" Hey! I'm pretty good at drag racing (no pun intended) and I can't very well lounge while my friends do flips and one-handers now can I? To be honest, I can, but it's pretty darn boring sitting there picking my nose.

Anywho, I just got some use of my hands and immediately got into my revisions. Usually, the mood and setting have to be right (no noise, my stomach must be full, my skin must be clean, and my horny-ness must be at a minimal, which seldom happens 'cause, somehow, I'm always in the mood - too much info?). Nevertheless, today I decided to "wing it" and boy oh boy was I AH - MAZED! I wrote a brand new opening so good it was downright scary. Dude, I'm talkin' some major LEGENDARY, PEE-YOUR-PANTS good! Of course, I have to revise it about thirty times over, but as of this instant I want to bask in its glow.

The funny thing is, now that I wrote it, I'm asking myself if I can conjure another - or even write! I hate myself for this. Every time I write something worthy, I get writer's block and doubt my potential. This tiny voice in my head says, "You're not published, so for all you know, what you wrote could be crap!" And you know what...? I actually believe it. So here I am, with an awesome first chapter and a wall blocking my muse from getting to the computer. I'm so bummed I could probably drench a room with my cloud of depression.

Do you ever get those days where you're on cloud nine and then, all at once, you're falling to earth without a parachute? How do you handle it?

Friday, 4 March 2011

Friday Wonder Ponder #2

Another week; another awesome adventure.

The past few days, apart from doing a little soul searching, I've been researching agents. The time for my novel to hit the stage is almost here and I want to find the best, most stupendous person to help it win the competition.

AgentQuery is a comprehensive tool that makes the search so much easier. You can define your fields by genre, name and agency -  trust me, this website is a definite MUST for your bookmarks.

Here I stalked perused the profiles of many agents in my genre (some from big agencies like ICM and WME), and have a clear idea of who I am going to query. Naturally, I have favorites, but I also have an absolute dream agent. His name is Steven Malk of Writer's House. I queried him over three years ago and he emailed me back within fifteen minutes. The answer was yes! At that moment my expression resembled that of Calvin in the above picture, but with bulging eyes. However, I never sent him the full he requested. Now I know many of you who read that raised your eyebrows. And I know you're already shaking your head and saying "You just don't do that." Guess what: I'm aware of it. Shortly after that my life took a hectic turn and I got caught up with school, work and an accident that landed me in the hospital for six months. I honestly forgot and I was deeply sorry. So, about two years later, I queried Mr. Malk again. I explained the matter in detail and instead of ignoring it, he sent back an email stating, in short: "I completely understand. I am not accepting new clients at this time, but you can send me a query and a partial on (date redacted) and I would be glad to take a look."

Yes people, this is my guy. I know what I did was wrong, and under normal circumstances I don't do that, but he understood the situation. That is a good person, and, I must say, it would be an honor to work with him.

This brings us to the question of the week: Who is your dream agent/agency and why?

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

Why Does Love Break Our Heart?

Nothing writing related today. I'm gonna keep it real 'cause I have a problem some of you might be familiar with.

So I have this girl, right, and she's a $exy Spanish mamasita with golden brown skin, long black hair that nestles at the swell of her back, bright blue eyes and a smile that just melts your heart. She's been my one and only for six years (SIX YEARS!) and has seen me through the murder of my dad, my mountain bike accident and the club fight that left me with a broken hand.

This is the girl I was gonna marry - the one who was gonna give me little McFrosts all over our dream house. I was gonna propose to her next year on Valentines Day but now I'm uncertain.

For years I've been hearing rumors that she has been cheating on me with not one, or even three, but five guys! That's like one for every occasion! I, of course, denied it and she did too. For one thing, my girl would never do that to me because she knows she has me on lock down. I can't so much as talk to another girl for more than three minutes (no kidding); if I do as such, she would either yell at me for hours on end, accusing me of sleeping with her, or put me to sleep on the couch of our apartment. So the notion that my future wife was cheating, seeing as I was banned from female interaction, was pish posh!

Until now...

I work as a journalist for a local paper and my wifey is some big time law major at university. So during my lunch break I get a call from my best friend Whitney citing the unthinkable:

"Sarah is at a bar with him!"

I didn't want to believe it, but low and behold Whitney pulls up right there at the deli with the phone to her ear.

"Yeah she is, and I'm gonna show you!"

So I, my heart twanging with doubt and expectation, hop in and arrive at the bar fifteen minutes later. There, at the very front, beneath a shed, with a martini in hand, and him on her lips, was my Sarah!

Perhaps I should've cried, raged like a nerd or something diplomatic, but at that very moment I didn't care to take the high road. I jumped out, ran to them, yanked her away and proceeded to beat the guy with over six years worth of lies. I know I was wrong to take it out on him, but sometimes men can seduce girls, right? Or is it the other way around?

Well, later that night when we got home, we had a big argument about it. I finally broke down there and then - something to the effect of :"SIX YEARS SARAH! AND YOU DO ME LIKE THIS?!" She was begging me not to leave her, saying it was only just a thing and nothing more. But I dunno. If you could so easily cheat on me with this bloke, what about the five others you've supposedly slept with?

I dunno what to do. It hurts to look at her and every attempt she makes to touch me or speak to me is met with a swift turn the other way. I've loved her exclusively for six whole years, but she's been cheating on me with five different guys. Now I know why those dudes on the block laugh when we walk by. I feel like a fool.

If you've loved someone for years, but found out they've been cheating on you, what would you do?
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